I began confessing my sin of complicity to systems and structures I knew better than being a part of in a blog post a few months ago on my personal site. That changed a ton of things for me. It was liberating, and healing. I then felt compelled to write a longer version of what I had started repenting of with a little background to it. I accidentally posted it before I had finished writing it, and so I took that as a sign to finish it and post it. Here is the second post I wrote entitled Complicity Repentance. I thought I should just link to those on this site, but God continues to bring more things to light. I continued to pray about what to write and how to word it. I have come to the conclusion that I will just link to my site as I have done above and list out the things I have done that I am convicted of at this time. I may be convicted of more later. God may use some of you to show me more ways in which I have sinned. If you see me retreating into these areas of sin listed below or written on my blog please speak to me and remind me of my own repentance. As I am prone to forget and wander.

I am guilty of doing these things as a member/deacon/elder at MHC. My sin has caused many to stumble, leave the fellowship of believers, and some to become apostate. These sins are disqualifying and a constant reminder of how much I need the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ who has given me a free pass to enjoy His kingdom regardless of my grievous sin against Him and others. If you have experienced/witnessed/or been offended by my sin please contact me in whatever way you feel comfortable with. I will meet with you and whoever you want to bring along with you. I will listen to you and ask God to give me understanding and the ability to repent. Some of these things may seem redundant and some of them may not seem like “sin” to you. However my understanding of sin is much bigger than “omission” and “commission” now. My new understanding is that Sin is present with us all the time and more pervasive than we know and see. Due to this larger understanding of sin I also have a larger picture of the reconciliation we have in Christ. So whatever you may think about this confession I sincerely believe these things are sin and I am forgiven for them. I want you to experience the same freedom of forgiveness I have been experiencing. I sincerely apologize to those I’ve hurt directly and indirectly because of my sin. Here they are.

1. lording over others

2. self Righteousness

3. arrogance

4. concern for myself and my “standing” with others particularly leadership ┬árather than the oppressed, hurt and abused

5. preaching a false Gospel of works, morality and doing things the right way

6. holding to a systematic instead of the mystery of Christ’s Incarnation

7. being divisive by being united with MHC as apposed to the Church of Christ in our city.

8. thinking and speaking in such a way that said “MHC had some stamp on Gospel truth and the best way of practicing it

9. assisting in building a culture of suspicion instead of considering no one according to the flesh, but rather in and by the Spirit

10. calling people to serve the church rather than serve each other

11. giving my money to an organization with it’s apparent own agenda instead of giving to the services of the Church of Jesus Christ

12. making fun of other Christians who worshiped Jesus in different ways with different understandings and theological presuppositions.

13. using the word heretic and wolf in a way more akin to hatred, vengeance and self justification

14. self justification

15. using others to promote things other than the Gospel

16. shunning people

17. promoting unhelpful unbiblical things like tri-perspectivalism

18. not listening to those with hard questions

19. getting defensive with people who have hard questions

20. telling people to trust men instead of Christ

21. pastor worship

22. celebrity worship

23. sin hunting instead of Gospel expounding and grace giving

24. defending other leaders poor and unhelpful behaviors

25. judging and assuming motive and intent without even asking somebody

26. participating in labeling people pejoratively and thus inevitably gossiping about them among leaders

27. self atonement

28. hasty decision making

29. following man made policy and procedure rather than the Spirits leading in my life and relationships

30. complicity to sexism, by agreeing to ignore a chauvinistic hyper-complimentarian theological expression. Resulting in the hatred and abuse of many gifted women

31. breaking relationship with people in order to keep a “chain of command”

32. not speaking up against the abusive sin going on around me

33. justifying the abusive sin going on around me

I have done all of these things and they have affected numerous people in many different ways. Thank God He has often used me in spite and despite my sin for His good. I do believe I have also hurt many people due to these kinds of twisted sick behavior. I am sick and in desperate need of healing. I may add more to this list later. For now please contact me if you have been hurt by me. If you don’t feel safe please have somebody else contact me on your behalf. I am a sinner 100% of the time, and I am also filled with the Spirit of the living God In Christ 100% of the time. Please have grace and mercy on me a sinner, and trust God to do His work in my life. Thanks for taking your time to read my public confession of sin